My life is a WRECK (literally)

beautifulstorm

Ever have those days where not a damn thing seems to be going right? Well, that was yesterday for me.  I was even upset to an extent at the fact that I was still alive.  So here is what happened…

I was returning to my job, the vet clinic, from lunch. I took an exit that merges onto a main highway. Being that it had been raining all day, the road was quite wet. While going down the exit, I lost complete control of my truck. It’s rear wheel drive and very light in the back so when it started sliding, I could not regain control of it. I managed to slam into the ramp on the right side going probably 35 mph.  I bounced off of that and skidded back into the road. (had I turned to the left instead, there was a huge grass area that went straight down. The truck I’m sure would have flipped).  I managed to get my truck off to the side of the road to evaluate damage. Passenger side headlight hanging out, front bumper on ground, smoke coming out of struck, something leaking heavily under it (which come to find out was radiator fluid), truck would not move. Long story longer, I had to call person im divorcing from to come and help me. Thankfully, he does. He finds me on exit, we call cops, EMS come because my neck and arm are hurting, and triple A towing shows up. We pretty much looked like a circus. I was ok, just had whiplash. Due to angle I hit, airbags did not deploy.

I don’t react normally to this accident. I found myself wishing I had turned left and the truck had flipped. I’ve been trying to move out of our apartment to start the separation from my x. He’s made it so clear he doesn’t want me there, is tired of me trying to find a place, and wants me out (which is not even legal come to find out). I’ve been working full time, packing up my life, trying to find a residents, going through a divorce, and am suffering from extreme exhaustion.

The night of the accident I did find this rose above and photographed it. There is something about rain on flowers that is beautiful to me. I think it’s important to remember that even in a storm, there is beauty.

I have found a new residence to go but it will be ready in a few weeks. So I have to survive all of this until then. My x worked on my cabrio today and got it to where at least it is not leaking horribly like before. This did up my moral knowing that I would not drown inside my car if there was a sprinkle outside.

The more I’ve gone to a divorce support group at my church, the more I have realized the need for help during a divorce. It’s not even about getting legal help (which is also good) but about emotional support. So many people, both men and women, feel scared and left without recourses during a divorce.  Many of us never in a million years planned to be in this situation. I’m the first one to raise my hand and explain how traumatic divorce feels. It’s like everything good and safe that you have come to know is stripped from you piece by piece. But here is the thing, if you surround yourself with people going through the same thing, you can rebuild and empower each other.

I can’t help but wonder if I would make a good lawyer. The kind that deals with divorce and helps people through this…..

Just a random idea of the day.

I’ve missed you guys. Nothing personal that I’ve been away. It’s just my life has been very hard lately. For all who read this and have continued to not give up on me, thank you. I know soon, it will get better.

4 thoughts on “My life is a WRECK (literally)

  1. Big *hugs* Jenny. I’m so sorry you had the accident and that it made you feel how you did. I LOVE what you said about the rose, though! That is beautiful! Well, your x certainly can’t be all bad – he was there in the midst of a crisis and willing to help – that’s pretty awesome! I know my husband would definitely do the same if we were in that situation. He’s a decent man too. :)

  2. First of all, that’s a killer shot! Secondly, good for you for going to a support group- that’s so important that you’re heard right now, and helped. Happy for you there. I’ve been through this too- 3 times (and then I remarried my x- don’t do that!) and it was a messy bucket of hurt each time. It DOES go away- completely. :0) Some day, you’re going to find the person who will love and respect you more than anybody else- that person is YOU. You have to get to know the “broken you”. You know? And you have to weep and mourn with her. She’s the gal who’ll help you bury the wreckage. And when you’re strong enough- she’ll take you back through and help you walk through it and clean it up. (All of this goes without saying, God is the ultimate cleaner, etc.)

    Keep your faith up! Always. It’s ok to cry, get drunk, scream, fall, fail- but in the end- always keep your faith. Love ya gal. You’re gonna make it. xx

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