Ok….so call me crazy…but I believe in Friend Chemistry. Not that romantic sappy raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens crap you feel when you fall in love with a guy or girl! I’m just talking about making an actual connection or spark if you will with a random person that you do not know jack about. That moment when your interest is perked and you know deep down that this person has the potential to really add something to your life. When I first meet someone I (usually) can tell by their:
- Body Language
whether or not I ever want to see them again or pursue a friendship. An entire story can be told just by observing a person. Are they shy? nervous? feeling offended you are near them? completely self absorbed? confused? tired? lonely? did the room just get icy? or who let the sunlight in? No need to ask or answer these questions on match.com! Just meet the person and I think the answers become abundantly clear. Those who are good at lying when introducing themselves are not, well, they are not the ones I am referring to…they do not deserve a definition nor any of my time.
Friendships start off the same way as romantic relationships if you think about it! Everyone goes for something different, the majority has an idea in their head of who they like to spend time with (aka what creates chemistry for them) , and 9 times out of 10 they do not find it on the first try.
Jelousy is also involved in friendships. For one reason or another…whether it be over a significant other or a different person.. a friend can feel as if they have become nothing more than a third wheel. Replaced. They are for the first time in a long time “alone.” This can ultimately lead to a “break up.” Yes, I just said BREAK UP. A friendship can end extrememly painfully. I personally remember referring to one of my close friendship back in my teen days as “my x best friend” and explaining “how I lost her.” Please note I am personally straight and was not in love with this girl! However, as far as friendship chemistry I feel we had a lot of it. Which led to me being passionately angry when I felt replaced. I blamed her for letting people get in betwen us. I had allowed small things to build up and not use communication to tell her how I was feeling. Lack of communication can end not only friendships but relationships! I wish I could turn back time and slap myself in the face over that.
All I’m saying is that:
- If you do not have friendship chemistry with a person do not force it. It probably was not meant to happen.
- friendship chemistry is great but it CAN fizzle after time if you do not fight for it.
- You must communicate with people you care about on a continuous basis.
- Becoming a friend to someone is like signing a contract to me. Through thick and thin. Do death do us part. I will stand by you. In sickness and health. I WILL BE YOUR FRIEND. (so this does not mean at the first sign of distress you should delete your friend from facebook or throw in the towel!).
Just my random observation for the night!! 🙂 goodnight