Ok, so I’m having a minor breakdown at work. Well if we are being serious I actually wish I had a pillow to scream into for about 30 minutes and then have at a punching bag for the remainder of the day! Back to point! Those who read my posts may know I have problems with my in-laws (mainly mother-in-law) …god I hate saying that word… For the past 4 years I have been trying to figure out why there has been little interest on her part to talk to me, get to know me, or really love me honestly. I’m not a bad person. I’m not perfect. But I appreciate family and I never came into my relationship with my now husband planning for all of this to happen.
My husband is very caught between his mother and me. Without going on a huge rant his mother is saying to him “she is trying to start over” and has been making it look like I have been the one pushing her away. I decided to ask him if she would “email” me to express her thoughts. I also knew that this may show her true colors. I swear there is something about writing that just brings out someones true character. She writes me an email of four lines with the last one being “so what’s the problem now.” Being offended I start to write her back an email that has a definite tone to it. I stop myself, revise email with help from a friend, and send it. My email is several paragraphs long including her name, a greeting, questions for her to answer, my email address if she would like to discuss further issues, etc. So I wait and wait for a reply. Finally, I ask my husband to mention if she has emailed me like 7 days after I sent the first email. He checks with her and she says she has not replied but she will. This morning, the letter that she sent me that took 7+ days said “I have done nothing to be sorry for”- signed (her name). That’s it. Talk about some major confirmation. I’ve felt defenseless the past few years because my husband was convinced I had a part in us not getting along. I have a feeling he is in for a surprise when he realize she replied to my mature, long, and thought out email with a sentence.
My point is this, friends, surround yourself with people that:
LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE
WOULD HAVE YOUR BACK IN ANY SITUATION
TAKE THE TIME TO GET TO KNOW YOU AS AN INDIVIDUAL
COMFORT YOU IN TIMES OF PAIN
WOULD DRIVE ACROSS THE COUNTRY TO GET TO YOU IF YOU NEEDED THEM
Accepting anything less is selling yourself short. I’m truly realizing that no matter what we do as people, we sometimes cannot change the reality that someone dislikes us. We can juggle, spit fire, and dance to try to get their approval to no avail. Be true to yourself. Love yourself. Treat yourself kindly. If someone in your life is hurting you then realize despite what others around you may say, it IS ok to say ENOUGH. I refuse to be treated like this any longer. I refuse to believe that any individual deserves to be repetitively rejected.
Find people that have a beautiful soul and surround yourself with them. This is the only way to make life worth living.