I know some people have wanted to be a police officer or fire fighter ever since they were little. There are many people who have “always known” what they want to go into. That is totally awesome but I want you to know that if you are one of those people, I envy the crap out of you. I am really struggling with what to do with my life. Every time I try out a certain career I HATE it. Here are just a FEW I’ve tried:
CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) Work
Notice, all of these jobs are extremely low paying. Who knows if I would still be at one of them today if I could have made it to a manager type position and made over 10,000 bucks a year. I could not support myself off of those jobs than I could fit my entire fist in my mouth. Just saying.
So now, I am married and don’t “qualify” for my grant anymore because apparently my husband and I make too much money. hahahahahaha. I can’t afford socks. It’s rare I get a new bottle of shampoo. Getting an ice cream is a TREAT. Yet, I can’t qualify to get any assistance with college REALLY.
This leaves me to resort to the dreaded word:
I will be graduating this summer with an Associate of Science in Social Sciences. I’ve been working years on this degree so to stop now would be insane. All I have to do is make it through the summer semester. However, what job is really going to pay me more JUST because I have an Associates of Science? I didn’t even specialize in anything because I felt the Bachelors was the way to go.
Now I am faced with many colleges contacting me, wanting money, and saying they are the best place to get a Bachelors. Application fees alone have literally maxed out my credit card. I’ve finally been accepted into a college but I am most likely looking at 25,000 if not more to get my Bachelors.
IS THIS WORTH IT?
I don’t even feel confident in the direction I’m going in right now.
People say take time to figure out what you want your major to be. Well I’ve been thinking about it, changing my mind, and second guessing myself for the past 4 plus years.
I’m 25 now. Most people have great jobs. I can’t seem to make bird shit.
Without getting into great detail, I do not have any immediate family member to call for advice about education. I do not have anyone knowledgeable about scholarships or how they work. Colleges I ask for help seem to want to rush me in and out of their office, not realizing the extent of help I need. Then again, I guess they are not there to assist me with figuring out my life.
Has anyone been faced with these things? Anyone feel really torn about their career right now? Anyone love their career? I don’t know what I need. Motivation or a slap in the face.
If I could TRY OUT the career I wanted to go into I would feel much better. Right now I am about to major in Human Services. I find the books interesting and can really relate to the conditions and trauma that many of the people I work with have faced. However, this may be a very bad thing. Do I want to relive certain painful parts of my life by listening to others go through similar situations. Yes, it helps them to listen and that would be nice knowing I could help others. But could I really leave all of that heavy knowledge that people put on me at the door. I go to counseling and I really open up to my counselor. When I come out of there, I feel lighter. Like I’ve lost weight. But what I’ve really done is paid my counselor to take on the burden of my problems. Personally, I can’t imagine carrying around anymore emotional weight from anyone else. And yet I am going into Human Services?! 😦
Sorry for this massive vent. I’m just feeling all the way around frustrated and panicked. If anyone has any advice please feel free to post below ❤
Thank you in advance