Moving past the pain

To all my dear friends who have checked on me be it online, in person, or through my blog… THANK YOU . This has been a few of the most painful weeks I have ever experienced (or will probably ever experience). There is no pain like losing your sister or someone you love for that matter.  So many things about her life remain a mystery to me. I just didn’t get the chance to ask. More honestly, I just did not make the best of our opportunities.  I knew I was losing her for quite a while. We never talked about it. It was almost as if I understood she was dying more so than she did. Becky had an incredible amount of strength. I will post more about our story sometime and how we actually came to find each other.

moving on

For now though, I send heart felt thanks to those who thought of me. If you are trying to get past a death or loss and think you are going to die in the process, I can now say I identify completely. There were days I did not want to eat, breathe, or live. I felt responsible, guilty, and weighed down by all the things I should have done while she was alive.

Here is what I have learned from the past few weeks:

Cherish every moment you are given

Never hold back how you feel about a person

Pray

Have faith that the incredible pain will subside

Celebrate peoples lives

Do not dwell in what could have been. Focus on what you now have the power to change.

Hoping everyone is well. Will be getting back to posting in the near future.

Thank you for your patience.

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2 thoughts on “Moving past the pain

  1. I’m so very sorry for your loss. Words are so inadequate. Sending you a big virtual (((HUG))) with a reminder to remember the wonderful times you shared together.

  2. I can only imagine the pain you’ve gone through lately, M&M, and my heart surely bleeds for (with) you. You’ve been on my mind daily since learning about your sister. You should know that I think you’re so strong for even being able to post! About anything. THAT takes courage. Don’t ever think you’re not an incredibly strong woman! When you start feeling guilty (survivor’s guilt) in the future, and you know- you will from time to time- remember how much your sister loves you- always- and she wouldn’t want you feeling badly.

    I say “loves” and not loveD, because I know that love cannot be separated by death. Death is merely an open doorway that we walk through to experience greater realms of love and life. 🙂 Your sister is able to love you in a whole new way now. XO

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