I feel so peaceful when I am around books. Whenever I am going through something hard, I make every effort to surround myself with books. Stories to me are old friends and amazing support systems. Tonight, I found myself contemplating cigarettes (I don’t smoke) at the gas station while I pumped gas. Instead, I opted for a coffee and a book store. It brought me a lot of comfort in a silent calming sort of way.
Last night, I once again drank a bottle with my friend. We watched love movies and she chain smoked out the window of the house she hates living in. Her little red and gold Christmas tree is still up. As if to say, it’s going to be ok…it’s supposed to be ok…
Everything in my life right now feels hard and painful. I want to drink, smoke, cut, pierce, throw up, get tattooed, tear up a punching bag, scream, cry, and literally die. Everything hurts. Everything feels unfair.
I would go into more detail and perhaps once time has passed, it will be appropriate. But right now I can only share that I am dealing with a very painful and sad issue that involves love.
If you pray, please pray for strength for me. ❤