I’ve realized that silence is ironically very loud. There are all different types of silence. Some types occur naturally while others occur due to unsettling events. Here are my interpretations:
Intellectual Silence: you can find this in a library or at a place of business that involves software developers swimming in a sea of computers. This silence feels intelligent, focused, and out of most peoples intellectual understanding. So many thoughts are floating around in the air that one knows not to speak, so as not to disturb the spider web of thoughts occurring.
Awkward Silence: That silence that comes after witnessing an event or overhearing words that should have never occurred. There is not any room in the air for comments, gestures, or other expressions after what just happened. For a moment, you forget your language, and just want to disappear.
Forced Silence: This occurs when a persons options are limited. Jobs force people to conform and in doing so, cause a forced silence among employees. Before even getting a job one will often see or hear: no tattoos, no piercings, no jewelry, no raises, and/or no benefits. One smiles and acts as if this is all they have ever wanted. Maybe, sometimes it is. But for those of us who understand forced silence, we are desperate and do what we can to survive.
Peaceful Silence: This can be found when rain is falling and one does not have to wake up, when sitting by the fireplace with someone you love, when wrapping your arms around your dog after a hard day, leaning against your lovers chest, and after the exhale of relief from someone financially helping you out. This silence reminds you that you are going to be ok, that tomorrow is in fact going to come, and that most of all there is hope.
Painful Silence: This occurs when there are just no words to speak. Everything in ones heart feels so heavy that verbalizing something would not even touch the problem or loss. This silence occurs when feeling trapped, burned out, looking at ones bank account, tired from the lack of options, or having lost someone to death. This silence is dangerous because it symbolizes a persons pain is so severe that they cannot vocalize it.
Religious Silence: Regardless of what religion you are, there is most likely some point in which you choose to pray, meditate, or sit peacefully to focus. This silence occurs out of respect for something greater than anyone can truly understand.
Shocked Silence: That moment right after someone tells you or someone near you something that is negative, hurtful, and offensive. This moment can cause a person to feel nauseous, feverish, and extremely resentful.
Because silence has become so loud, I do not seek comfort in it the way I used too. As you get older, the curtain is pulled back, as the show begins. You see things as they are as opposed to how you wish them to be. It is a whole different world.