Trees and Sky Photography + mini update

Recently, I’ve found something very beautiful about trees. I keep wanting to photograph them! This picture above was taken outside my work on December 2014. It was sunrise and the sky was beautiful. There is something about dark trees against a lit up sky….

This is a mini update.  I got my leave approved so I will be going to Ohio for my birthday (Dec 31st!) to visit a good friend.  After working nine months and not ever seeing a four consecutive day off stretch, this is really exciting.

Right now, it looks like I am going back to college for education in January. It’s been a hard decision. I struggle between doing things I am passionate about (photography and animals) and doing a career in which I would be able to live comfortably.   I don’t even want to be rich…I just want to be able to eat more than turkey sandwiches .

The stick shift didn’t work out. I thought I got the hang of it but broke it again. 😦 So my grandfather ended up helping me get a 2013 Nissan Versa AUTOMATIC that is beautiful and good on gas.  It does not need any duct tape which is super exciting.  I can also travel in it without feeling like it’s going to fall apart or blow away at any given moment. CANNOT EXPLAIN WHAT A RELIEF AND HOW GRATEFUL I AM.

I’ve been going to the gym more after work which is good! I don’t think about my x anywhere near as much as I used too. Every once in a while something makes me sad but there are no longer days where I cry all the way home because I miss the way things were. I honestly don’t remember the way things were or what it really felt like to not want to love those times.  From where I was last December to where I am today is really amazing. I’m stronger, independent, have more self worth, have held one full time job, getting back into school, starting to date again (that’s a while different post), and am beginning to be able to balance my life better. I feel like the past several months I have been surviving. Now it’s time to actually start LIVING. 🙂

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Thank you to all who have supported me, been there through my divorce, and given advice.  ❤

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How A Chihuahua Has A Fabulous Day

I’m unsure why everyone doesn’t get married in October!! This weather is AMAZING here in Charleston, SC. I decided I could not go to the lake downtown today without my “little.”   It’s wonderfully comforting how dogs are there for us every day. I have not been there for Daisy as much as I would have liked to lately.  So today, I gave her a great day.  We went to the lake together:

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And she enjoyed the view:

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I took a few random pictures. One that I really  loved is below. It reminds me that where there is light, there is hope.

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After the lake we went to Petsmart. She got to come inside 🙂 I picked her out some little treats and one of those toys that is filled with crinkle type paper as opposed to stuffing (my dog will rip that shit out in two seconds). Here is an example of puppy pad explosion:

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  She didn’t look at all interested in Petsmart  but when we got in the car, she dove head first into her bag:

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Daisy did 5 lapse around the lake today, which is a lot for a seven pound chihuahua! She was proud and wanted to announce her accomplishment.  She is now passed out in her very over stuffed dog bed at home ❤ Love my dog.

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Silence During A Breaking Point

cant I’m coming to the realization that I never allow myself the option of admitting that I can’t handle a situation. I’m a fighter (verbally). I like to state my point and have the last word, because on some yet to be discovered planet this is “winning.” Up until recently, I didn’t realize how unhealthy this way of thinking was.  I never walk away from comments that define me wrong, challenge me, insult me, or hurt me in some way. I’ve always seen that as an open door to prove my point and show a person exactly who I am through anger.

Then it changed.

Recently, I chose to not respond to comments I disagreed with. I chose to let someone repeatedly contact me that I really wanted to stop.I let them write me a goodbye letter full of apologies and promises that they had irreparably broken. I let something end without fighting it out.

My body told me:

 I just can’t do this anymore…

I can’t hang on to a relationship that was over a long time ago…

I can’t continue selling myself this short…

I can’t handle feeling this desperate for attention…

What happened next was that:

– I recovered very shortly after from a sinus infection that i thought was going to kill me

– I stopped stuffing my face with tons and tons of food

-I purchased a membership for Planet Fitness

-I bought an ipod shuffle and loaded it with music I love

– I felt and continue to feel stronger

 Knowing your breaking point and listening to it is HUGE.  Ending a toxic unhealthy relationship, no matter how sad, is essential to ones survival. I used to think I could not make it without a certain person. Turns out, I can’t make it without myself. I need to take better care of myself emotionally, spiritually, financially, and physically. That is the goal for not only 2014 but 2015 as well!

Pray for Phoebe Fair PLEASE and others I support

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Tonight, a little girl named Phoebe Fair needs your support, thoughts, and prayers.  A cancerous brain tumor was found in her head when she was only 4 years old. She has three brothers and loving parents. It’s clear from her facebook page that she has a beautiful personality that shines when she smiles.  Upon viewing her page today, it appears that her battle may be close to ending.  She sleeps 95 % of the time and is hallucinating. Her dog lays with her as her parents keep the house as comfortable and peaceful as possible.  I cannot imagine what they are going through. Out of respect for them, I will not post their pictures on my page. But I encourage you to check out her facebook page here.  It’s clear from the last updated picture that they are really in need of thoughts at this time.

***UPDATE*** Phoebe Fair past away last night, on October 5th, in the comfort of her home with her family.  The Lord has received a beautiful angel into heaven. Thoughts going out to her family.

There are a few other people I continue to follow. I have been following Trip Halstead’s journey for a while now on facebook. His page can be located here.  A tree fell on trip when he was very young. Ever since that incident he has been battling heroically to regain the ability to move, swallow, and overall function again. Through physical therapy he has gradually begun to “come back.”  It’s clear that the reason he has come so far is because of the love and devotion from his two sweet parents.  When given the opportunity to go on a cruise that they went on last year (before the accident), they chose to still go despite the current difficulties of his condition.  They new he could still enjoy being there and that the trip would instill some form of normalcy.  ❤ I encourage you to follow and pray for Tripp’s continual recovery.

How I miss Corbin. I did not know this baby but I admired his extreme fight for survival through his facebook page here called ==>>> Team Corbin . He past away not that long ago from Trisomy 13. His parents were given the option of aborting him when they discovered he had the condition.  They were told he would be born dead and that there was no hope. Instead of giving up, crying, and obliging the doctors…his mother and father fought back. Against medical science and all odds, they held out faith he would live long enough to hear his cry. When his mother delivered, Corbin was alive and kicking.  Though he stayed in the hospital and had Trisomy 13, he got to smile, dance, and touch the lives of thousands of people all over the world. His mother celebrated each day he was alive with a card stating how many days old he was and a saying. Corbin’s mother has such a beautiful way of writing. If she wrote a book I would seriously buy it.  I continue to be on Team Corbin, support his parents, and celebrate his will to defy all odds with life.

The last one I would like to mention is ====> Support For Sophia .  She was born with many different medical conditions with the most prominent one being Kidney Failure. Even though she is a baby, she receives dialysis often. She is also often scene in pics as on oxygen.  She has large eyes and a precious face.  I cannot imagine how strong she has to be. Thankfully, it looks like she will be coming home soon. Her family is decorating her nursery as she continues to recover at the hospital.  Also, Sophia really appears to love owls. Her family said her name means “wise” and owls are wise…hence the relationship between the two 🙂 .  Whenever I see an owl now I think of her! I pray for her recovery and that she can one day have a transplant that will end the dialysis for her.

There are so many children on facebook and other social networking sites that have conditions & need to be supported.  I did not choose these children above. They more so chose me. One of them led to the other.  I wish I could add ALL pages that need help on my facebook but I sadly would have trouble keeping up with that many, working, and going to school. We can only do what we can so I continue to support these above children and raise awareness that there are others out there that would love to have their pages followed! If you would like to find me on facebook please add me ===> Jenny Laura. If you would like me to follow you in return please post below. ❤

I believe in the power of prayer

Hope everyone has a good night. Please take a moment to be thankful for all that you have in your life. And if you have nothing you can think of to be thankful for, remember you do have a life. Walking, talking, speaking, touching, feeling, eating, working, functioning, etc, are luxuries to many. If you can do all of those things, you are blessed.

Finding Yourself

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If your feeling lost, confused, or just having a lack of identity know that you are not alone!

I spent much of my childhood going through emotional ordeals as a result of not having a father …and at many times not having a mother that was psychologically able to be there.  Due to this, I feel like  I lost a lot of those prime years where we figure out who we are, self confidence, what love is, who’s worth protecting, how to walk away, etc.

I’m working with my counselor now on finding out who I am as a person. She had me make a collage of pictures on a canvas frame of things that I loved. I wanted to put my friends on it but she said no, only put things that apply to ME as a person. The point was to figure out who I am as a separate entity.  After finishing my collage, it felt good to look at something I created that was a part of me. I will take a picture and post below.  The collage may be a good idea for you too if you are visual, artsy, and just enjoy doing an affordable craft that teaches you something!

The more I learn about getting to know myself the more I will post on here and share it with you. ❤