Trees and Sky Photography + mini update

Recently, I’ve found something very beautiful about trees. I keep wanting to photograph them! This picture above was taken outside my work on December 2014. It was sunrise and the sky was beautiful. There is something about dark trees against a lit up sky….

This is a mini update.  I got my leave approved so I will be going to Ohio for my birthday (Dec 31st!) to visit a good friend.  After working nine months and not ever seeing a four consecutive day off stretch, this is really exciting.

Right now, it looks like I am going back to college for education in January. It’s been a hard decision. I struggle between doing things I am passionate about (photography and animals) and doing a career in which I would be able to live comfortably.   I don’t even want to be rich…I just want to be able to eat more than turkey sandwiches .

The stick shift didn’t work out. I thought I got the hang of it but broke it again. :( So my grandfather ended up helping me get a 2013 Nissan Versa AUTOMATIC that is beautiful and good on gas.  It does not need any duct tape which is super exciting.  I can also travel in it without feeling like it’s going to fall apart or blow away at any given moment. CANNOT EXPLAIN WHAT A RELIEF AND HOW GRATEFUL I AM.

I’ve been going to the gym more after work which is good! I don’t think about my x anywhere near as much as I used too. Every once in a while something makes me sad but there are no longer days where I cry all the way home because I miss the way things were. I honestly don’t remember the way things were or what it really felt like to not want to love those times.  From where I was last December to where I am today is really amazing. I’m stronger, independent, have more self worth, have held one full time job, getting back into school, starting to date again (that’s a while different post), and am beginning to be able to balance my life better. I feel like the past several months I have been surviving. Now it’s time to actually start LIVING. :)


Thank you to all who have supported me, been there through my divorce, and given advice.  <3


Book Quotes I Love

Out of a list of 51 book quotes, these were some of my favorite <3

“One must be careful of books, and what is inside them, for words have the power to change us.”
—Cassandra Clare, The Infernal Devices

“In our village, folks say God crumbles up the old moon into stars.”
—Alexander Solzhenitsyn, One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich

“She wasn’t doing a thing that I could see, except standing there leaning on the balcony railing, holding the universe together.”
—J. D. Salinger, “A Girl I Knew”

“I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart; I am, I am, I am.”
—Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

“In spite of everything, I still believe people are really good at heart.”
—Anne Frank, The Diary of Anne Frank

“How wild it was, to let it be.”
—Cheryl Strayed, Wild

“At the still point, there the dance is.”
—T. S. Eliot, “Four Quartets”


Because I just have to record this unbelievable crazyness a.k.a MY LIFE

Today, I was already bummed about having to work a half day.  I mean, really, what can you get done in a HALF DAY.  I decided to take my camera, grab some coffee, and head to church.  Unfortunately, I never made it past the coffee. My car started making a knocking noise. Earlier that day it had been making the same noise.  However, this time it got louder and then sounded like it was dying (literally).  My original thought was that I must have a flat tire.  Managed to drive the car into the first turn I saw which thankfully was a neighborhood and park it. Jumped out to examine tires only to see… NOTHING.  Popped the hood (like I know what in the world to look for….) and could tell the engine was hot. Then put the hood back down because, well, I knew I had no idea about engines.  Tried turning the car back on and although it would start and shift into gear, it would NOT move. Tried it a few more times with no results.


Whenever there is an emergency, my phone is guaranteed to be dead.

I had my roommates girlfriend come pick me up.  I was parked in front of one of those houses that it seemed like people just kept coming out of.  There were about four cars in front and a pair of the most ferocious sounding pit bulls I’ve ever heard in my life. Like, they kept sounding like they were turning on each other. There was a dog warning sign  on their yard. I wanted to yell “no shit, really?”

When my ride came I of course gather up everything out of car. Because I am stressed, I panic about where my phone is (its in my hands). Which I realize when it slips out and breaks into three pieces. Thankfully, I don’t have a flimsy iphone that breaks at the drop of a hat. My battery managed to pop out though and fall underneath my un moveable car. I literally lay flat on the ground and reach with all my might for this tiny black square.  I was able to retrieve it.

Once leaving the car, I came back to the house. I had to cancel work because I could not get there. I am seriously about to be fired. So I probably need to go ahead and start a plan B, as plan A is going up in smoke. My friends have been amazing though with rides and letting me borrow their car.

I feel like I am suffocating though.

My camera,dog, and I took a walk where I photographed a lot of flowers. Here are some of the pictures below. I was happy with how a lot of them turned out.





The Lemons VS. Lemonade October Vent


Lemon slices background

Recently my  clutch in my car went out, again. Meaning that in THIRTY DAYS I managed to destroy the brand new one I had just gotten. So currently it’s being fixed by a company that can never give me a straight answer as to when exactly I’m going to see my car again.  There is nothing like being car-less, dealing with horrible customer service,  and living far away from work.


For over a week, I’ve had a stomach virus from hell.  We are talking throwing up, fever, chills, cough, etc.   Basically, I’ve felt like I was literally going to die (or wanted to anyway).  There was even a particular day when I was too weak to take off my socks.  On one of my lowest points I threw up several times in the shower. Another good one was when I had extremely violent chills. My entire body shook for what felt like forever.  My fever medication being right in front of me but I was too weak to get up and walk two steps to it. FUN TIMES. I missed almost two days of work due to this illness. You have to love it when employment wants you to work when you have something extremely contagious.


I feel like I am absolutely surround by negativity. I will not name specific people but I will say, there are those who just talk about lemons ALL the time without even the slightest attempt to make lemonade.  I’ve found I have stopped responding to people and just being silent when they talk. To a strangers eye, I’m listening.  However, what is actually occurring is me restraining from screaming.  It seems as if people hate their lives, jobs, friends, bodies, opportunities (or lack there of), location, home, schedule, financial state, ETC……….. It’s not that I don’t get it. I have those days where I wish I could die now and call it a day.  But every day? Really? It’s draining to have to listen to this type of thing constantly.

The Lemonade

Thirst Quenching Lemonade in the Summer

The car SHOULD be fixed in the next few days

My good friends have showed their loyalty with helping the through the car ordeal. K has let me borrow her car and taken me to work.  While S has taken me home and allowed me to spend the night with her so I could make it to work the next day. J came to give me a ride to rental car place.

I get paid tomorrow. For a few days, I can pretend I am not poor :)

I’m much better than I was & am now keeping food down.

My roommate and I cleaned out kitchen area today. Now all the boxes are in the attic and we can see the kitchen table.

Moments I’m Selfish

Ever have those days where you feel like you just can’t do it anymore?  Those thoughts that scream it’s too expensive to eat, have fun, pay rent, buy gas, and just all around live?  I’ve been living off frozen dinners because financially (and emotionally) I’m too drained to make actual “real” food.  Lately, I have felt sorry for myself and angry at my circumstances. I want to be able to change things that I do not have the power too.

Why? Why Me? Why now? When does it stop? It’s not fair. I feel alone. Fuck my life.

No, actually, what isn’t fair is how selfish I am being.

I encourage you to check out this link:

Why This 29 Year Old Is Choosing To Die

Brittany was diagnosed with a deadly form of brain cancer.  Knowing there was no way to get around death, she chose to live each day to her fullest.  Despite stage four brain cancer, she did some amazing traveling and even made plans on a destination to reach before she was to pass away.  Brittany chose to move to Oregon, a state where it is legal to allow terminally ill people to terminate their life early.  The point being to avoid a painful death.

She has found a way to be optimistic.

I have to realize that if people can find a way to truly live in situations like that, then I can find the strength to get through my MOMENTARY problems. It’s a goal of mine to be more thankful. Starting with, I’m truly thankful for my LIFE.

How A Chihuahua Has A Fabulous Day

I’m unsure why everyone doesn’t get married in October!! This weather is AMAZING here in Charleston, SC. I decided I could not go to the lake downtown today without my “little.”   It’s wonderfully comforting how dogs are there for us every day. I have not been there for Daisy as much as I would have liked to lately.  So today, I gave her a great day.  We went to the lake together:


And she enjoyed the view:


I took a few random pictures. One that I really  loved is below. It reminds me that where there is light, there is hope.


After the lake we went to Petsmart. She got to come inside :) I picked her out some little treats and one of those toys that is filled with crinkle type paper as opposed to stuffing (my dog will rip that shit out in two seconds). Here is an example of puppy pad explosion:


  She didn’t look at all interested in Petsmart  but when we got in the car, she dove head first into her bag:


Daisy did 5 lapse around the lake today, which is a lot for a seven pound chihuahua! She was proud and wanted to announce her accomplishment.  She is now passed out in her very over stuffed dog bed at home <3 Love my dog.


I hated it so bad that I fell in love

  I’m one of those people that doesn’t do things they have no desire to do.  I’ve always been stubborn and down right hard to reason with.  Anyone that  is responsible for changing my mind should truly heroic.

Back in April 2014 I acquired a 1999 VW Cabrio.


This old, disheveled, and completely helpless car deserves a post of it’s own. I named her “Popcorn.”  Let’s just say it once rained and I nearly drowned in Popcorn, NEXT to the beach. Realizing that this was not a good vehicle situation, my grandfather lovingly located a stick shift VW Jetta.

Ok, just hearing the words stick shift makes me go..


Why? Well, because it’s not something I’ve ever considered trying again. I’ve tried a total of twice. Once, in New York with an X.  Him, being extremely trusting, aloud me give the whole stick shift thing a go.  Let’s just say, I literally started rolling backwards in traffic.  We stopped car and switched places ASAP. Then the second time, my soon to be x husband let me experiment in a parking lot.  He quickly realized too that I was never going to get it. Ever.

My grandfather brought my “new” (aka 2000 Jetta) down to Charleston, SC for me, I believe, August 2014.  After a few hours of practice, he said I was starting to get it.  Also, stating that he had to take his false teeth off the dashboard twice and  put them back in his mouth hahahah. He has always been hilarious.


Up until recently, I HATED driving this car.  I have never felt so much anger and frustration at trying to get used to something.  I stalled in drive-threws, in the middle of high ways, parking lots, and really anywhere a car can stop. FUN TIMES.  I’ve realized I have insanely low self confidence.  If I don’t get something immediately I feel so defeated that I discontinue it or beat myself up over it.

A few days ago, my roommate asked me to move her AUTOMATIC car.  I get in it, and push on the break (like its a clutch) while pushing in the gas.  I’m telling you, smoke came out from under the tires.  I almost could not figure out how to drive the damn car. It was the longest and loudest re park job I have ever done in my life.  Not to mention, I parked the car going the opposite way it should have been on the street.

After this experience, I appreciated my car a great deal more.  I realized that I felt I had more control when driving my car.And I am happy to say, I no longer hate driving a stick shift. I’ve also come to the realization though I may be resistant, I am an adaptable person. I’ve gone from having a home to being homeless, from being jobless to working overtime, from being very sickly to extremely healthy, from one location to another, etc.  My confidence has gone up realizing that I can not only live but thrive in all different settings.  Though I may  very likely cry, cuss, yell, and vent in every other way shape or form along the way, it doesn’t stop my strength from pulling me through.

It’s an amazing feeling to prove your own self wrong sometimes.

Things That Drive Me CRAZY

This has not been the most positive of days. OK, if I am being honest, the past few days have been rough.  Work has been exhausting, drama has been draining, and I’ve just started feeling all the way around BURNED OUT.  It’s important to be positive but at the same time, it’s also just as essential to be human and feel negative emotions (hence this post).

So here is a list so I can get it out and vent…  If I am lucky, I will help someone out there feel less alone.


1. I AM BROKE ALL THE TIME.  You know those books that explain how to save money or cut cost…. yeah I can’t possible decrease anything any more.  I pay one set fee for rent/electric/and water combined.  My dog eats less than 1/2 cup a day (tiny chihuahua) so cheap food. I hardly ever have money for enough food to last me till the next pay check. I’m too tired to cook. Have not gone “shopping” in more years than I can count.  I can’t figure out how to financially make it. I don’t understand how people do it, I really don’t.


2.  DRAMA.  I cannot stand working with people who I know talk or say things about me or my team in the office.  I understand wanting to talk or having an opinion. But it’s really not professional to talk about anyone within a business setting.  I don’t want to know at any point what people think about me or my work ethic. All that matters to me is that I feel confident that I’m doing the best job I can do. I work full time (sometimes over time), do physical work constantly, and am always exhausted.  I don’t need high school crap on top of it…. Why can’t everyone just be professional and get along as a team? We don’t have to like each other, but functioning together would be awesome.


3. WATCHING PEOPLE GO BACK TO THEIR X’s. I’m unsure if this is a jealousy thing or a confusing thing for me. People often come to me to advise them during their break up.  They explain how unhealthy and painful the relationship was. Then, after often only a short period, they get right back into that relationship. I can’t fault them because I’ve done the exact same thing!! I ended up marrying a man that broke off our engagement right before actually getting married.  It just looks different to be on the other side of the coin.  I struggle with the temptation to fall right back into old habits too.  I miss and will probably always love my X.  I don’t just hall off and marry someone for the hell of it. Seeing people get back with theirs make me wish I could in a way (even though I know it would not be healthy).  However, at the same time, I also feel drained from trying to be there for people and help them while seeing them revert right back to the same situation. It makes me want to scream ::DO YOU HAVE AN ADDICTION TO BEING MISERABLE?::  It’s confusing…..


4. DATING.  OK, this is just not going well. I tried dating one guy from church. I am sure he is a truly nice guy but after one date, I realized I had never been so uninterested in dating someone in my entire life.  I like extremely respectful men that do not expect something on the first date (no matter what kind of relationship I am looking for). I truly this other guy at first that took me on a few dates. But then he did the whole “I don’t think you are ready for this” thing which of course totally crushed me. I sobbed in his car and told him how he was wrong (he wasn’t). But of course in the moment you don’t realize it. We were just at different places.  DATING IS STRESSFUL. And bottom line is… though I hate being alone… I don’t know what I want. And until I do, I should not be with anyone.

So yeah anyway….that is my rant for tonight.  :)

Are you curious or do you actually care?

I once read that “One should be careful who they tell information too.  There is a difference between being curious and actually caring.” The older I get, the more I find this to be true. So many people at work or in every day life ask you questions just to start a conversation or gather information to pass around.   It’s exhausting, hurtful, and makes it very hard to figure out who can actually be trusted.  Determining who wants to know about our lives without having a motive is like searching for a needle in a haystack.

Thankfully, I have a handful of friends that I feel confident actually CARE. One huge representation of one is a guy from my past. When we were younger (like thirteen years younger than I am now), we dated each other long distance. We were kids but actually did truly love each other. His parents didn’t know we were together, as he lived a long ways away from me. On one of my letters, I put a lot of hearts which his parents saw and opened.  That was the end of our adolescent dating years.


  We every once in a while would keep in touch but had years where we just parted ways and did our own thing.  I never forgot about him though, as he had a kind heart which is an extreme rarity these days.  So in 2013 when I was going through my divorce, I reached out to him.  I’d like to say that in the beginning it was because I truly missed HIM. But I was vulnerable, sad, hurting, and extremely lonely. ((Why do we girls go to that place of feeling like we are worthless??)) Anyway, he did respond and the more we talked, the more I realized I had really missed him.

This person for the past nine months has listened, advised, understood, comforted, and invited me to his home. I got to meet his sweet family and enjoy getting to know him after years and years of being apart. Many men would try to take advantage of a woman that is weak and going through a divorce. However, he was always respectful and never once did that. There was never an expectation, form of repayment, or other for his support in my life. He was just there to be my friend. And that was enough for him.

Upon hearing that I was sleeping on an air mattress, extremely sick, and paying off a bed on lay away..he offered to help.  I have NEVER accepted money from a friend. Coffee, books, thrifted furniture (YES) but money…no. It’s not that my friends would not have offered it at one point or another (and vice verso), but everyone is always poor & trying to stay alive. For a minute, my x husband had come back into my life and claimed to want to help me in some way. I told him about the bed, how I was sleeping on the floor, and so miserable.  Never once did he offer $5 to help me pay off the bed. Nor offer me dinner, dog food, clothing, or anything that would help my quality of life.  And yet here was my good friend, who didn’t have much, willing to step up and help me.  If this doesn’t let you know  a lot about someones character, I don’t know what does.

I realized which person actually cared about my situation and which person was just curious about it.

My amazing grandfather wanted to go ahead and get a jump start on me getting a bed ASAP so he went ahead and paid it off.  Despite that, my friend was willing to help pay him back for doing that for me.  Today, I received a check for $280 from my friend. The ENTIRE  amount my grandfather had put down. I never get to pay my grandfather back for anything sadly.  I just never have the extra money or ability to do it. So the fact that I can now, makes me incredibly emotional and thankful to this person.  I’ve always had a really hard time allowing anyone to help me.  I never feel secure and have always braced myself to lose everything.

So to my friend who did this for me, THANK YOU. For offering, keeping your word, going above and beyond, and showing me there is still good out there.

Silence During A Breaking Point

cant I’m coming to the realization that I never allow myself the option of admitting that I can’t handle a situation. I’m a fighter (verbally). I like to state my point and have the last word, because on some yet to be discovered planet this is “winning.” Up until recently, I didn’t realize how unhealthy this way of thinking was.  I never walk away from comments that define me wrong, challenge me, insult me, or hurt me in some way. I’ve always seen that as an open door to prove my point and show a person exactly who I am through anger.

Then it changed.

Recently, I chose to not respond to comments I disagreed with. I chose to let someone repeatedly contact me that I really wanted to stop.I let them write me a goodbye letter full of apologies and promises that they had irreparably broken. I let something end without fighting it out.

My body told me:

 I just can’t do this anymore…

I can’t hang on to a relationship that was over a long time ago…

I can’t continue selling myself this short…

I can’t handle feeling this desperate for attention…

What happened next was that:

- I recovered very shortly after from a sinus infection that i thought was going to kill me

- I stopped stuffing my face with tons and tons of food

-I purchased a membership for Planet Fitness

-I bought an ipod shuffle and loaded it with music I love

- I felt and continue to feel stronger

 Knowing your breaking point and listening to it is HUGE.  Ending a toxic unhealthy relationship, no matter how sad, is essential to ones survival. I used to think I could not make it without a certain person. Turns out, I can’t make it without myself. I need to take better care of myself emotionally, spiritually, financially, and physically. That is the goal for not only 2014 but 2015 as well!

Stronger September

I’ve realized that when life gets really hard, I often deal with it by just plain old NOT DEALING.  My way of comforting myself I guess is by numbing life out and put on this mask that screams: this girl is absolutely fine.  I kid you not, I was told by a sweet girl I work with that she would have never known my car just broke down because when I came to work I was smiling and looked like I had just eaten some waffles. (I’ve gotten amazing at that masking thing apparently). I’m unsure why at certain points I can handle blogging and others I cannot. Each time I’ve tried to come back to this, it’s been a bit of a failed attempt.  Here is some good news though….

I believe I am not at a better, stronger, more mature place than I’ve probably ever been.  Below is a picture of myself and what my facebook status from a few days ago:

“It’s true. You really do all the sudden realize one day that a weight is just gone. My eyes have looked so weak and sad in pictures for like the past 9 months. Having taken a picture today, I just looked at and realized,\the intense emotional weight from my marriage ending that I’ve been carrying around is gone.”

I'm Stronger,jpg

For those that do not know, my soon to be x husband told me he wanted a divorce on Christmas of 2013 at my in laws house. Romantic stuff right? The next six months were the most traumatic, hurtful, and confusing months of my life. Want to talk about hitting a breaking point!! I literally thought I was going to die. I’ve moved to two different locations, gone through three different cars, gotten in a car accident, cried more tears than I thought was even humanly possible to produce, and felt a sense of helplessness that went deeper than the ocean.

But through all of that, I survived.  Within two months of being told about the divorce, I found and continue to hold the same full time job (often working over time). I went to work looking like crap and went home looking worse. But what’s the most amazing thing for someone that has just had all that has made them feel safe stripped from them is that, I went.  Looking back today, I’m proud of that.  And I’m better.

There are so many other things I want to say, but for tonight, this is good. It’s a start. And I’ve officially started over. <3 Thank you to all those that have followed me, supported me, and advised me.

My life is a WRECK (literally)


Ever have those days where not a damn thing seems to be going right? Well, that was yesterday for me.  I was even upset to an extent at the fact that I was still alive.  So here is what happened…

I was returning to my job, the vet clinic, from lunch. I took an exit that merges onto a main highway. Being that it had been raining all day, the road was quite wet. While going down the exit, I lost complete control of my truck. It’s rear wheel drive and very light in the back so when it started sliding, I could not regain control of it. I managed to slam into the ramp on the right side going probably 35 mph.  I bounced off of that and skidded back into the road. (had I turned to the left instead, there was a huge grass area that went straight down. The truck I’m sure would have flipped).  I managed to get my truck off to the side of the road to evaluate damage. Passenger side headlight hanging out, front bumper on ground, smoke coming out of struck, something leaking heavily under it (which come to find out was radiator fluid), truck would not move. Long story longer, I had to call person im divorcing from to come and help me. Thankfully, he does. He finds me on exit, we call cops, EMS come because my neck and arm are hurting, and triple A towing shows up. We pretty much looked like a circus. I was ok, just had whiplash. Due to angle I hit, airbags did not deploy.

I don’t react normally to this accident. I found myself wishing I had turned left and the truck had flipped. I’ve been trying to move out of our apartment to start the separation from my x. He’s made it so clear he doesn’t want me there, is tired of me trying to find a place, and wants me out (which is not even legal come to find out). I’ve been working full time, packing up my life, trying to find a residents, going through a divorce, and am suffering from extreme exhaustion.

The night of the accident I did find this rose above and photographed it. There is something about rain on flowers that is beautiful to me. I think it’s important to remember that even in a storm, there is beauty.

I have found a new residence to go but it will be ready in a few weeks. So I have to survive all of this until then. My x worked on my cabrio today and got it to where at least it is not leaking horribly like before. This did up my moral knowing that I would not drown inside my car if there was a sprinkle outside.

The more I’ve gone to a divorce support group at my church, the more I have realized the need for help during a divorce. It’s not even about getting legal help (which is also good) but about emotional support. So many people, both men and women, feel scared and left without recourses during a divorce.  Many of us never in a million years planned to be in this situation. I’m the first one to raise my hand and explain how traumatic divorce feels. It’s like everything good and safe that you have come to know is stripped from you piece by piece. But here is the thing, if you surround yourself with people going through the same thing, you can rebuild and empower each other.

I can’t help but wonder if I would make a good lawyer. The kind that deals with divorce and helps people through this…..

Just a random idea of the day.

I’ve missed you guys. Nothing personal that I’ve been away. It’s just my life has been very hard lately. For all who read this and have continued to not give up on me, thank you. I know soon, it will get better.

Craigslist Car Shopping…The JOYS

Hello Friends :)


Hope today is going great for you. It’s Monday and I am off from work. Thank Goodness because I am SICK. You know it’s bad when I am having hot tea with honey for breakfast. I’m telling you, nothing feels better on a sore swollen throat than some tea!

So on to what my topic is….


Raise your hand if you hate car shopping with a passion?

Here are my main issues:

#1. Often times, women do not have the slightest clue as to what to look for on a used car. While we were taking care of our dolls, boys were putting together leggos and building guns out of straws. Hence, why their understanding of engines is probably so much higher haha. I’m not including those super cool women who know a car and are not afraid to get dirty!  Just, if you are like me, you don’t know what to look for.

#2.  Sticker price, firm price, varying price, willing to take an offer, etc.  I have no idea how to price a car! I can go onto and get an evaluation. But then, there are always those people who say, well I put a lot of money into my car with new parts. So just when I think I know how much a car is worth, that totally throws me for a loop.

#3. PRESSURE.  I new I could not go into a dealership and finance another car. I had to buy it outright to eliminate monthly payments. This left me with craigslist car& truck section.  So if you have never looked for a cheap car on craigslist, you probably don’t know they sell like IHOP’s all you can eat pancakes. You have to be fast, get to the seller fast, make an offer fast, etc.

#4 Oh and then there are those vehicles with Title issues. For instance, I ALMOST bought a Honda the other day. Went to get money and was about to head out to the person when their title went “missing.” All the sudden, the person said he could not find it. Wanted to know if I wanted the vehicle for a cheaper price with no title!!! hahahahha NOPE. I may not know much, but I know that buying a car that could have just been stolen is not always the best of options.

Anyway, I finally ended up getting a car yesterday. I used to have a VW Cabrio in which EVERYTHING broke on it. Top leaked and it all around fell apart on me. So what “new” car do I ultimately end up with? Of course, a VW Cabrio haha.  I’m sure I paid too much too. But here is the thing, the man said he took good care of it, got oil changed, the AC & heat work, radio works, tires look good, great on gas, and it drives well. It’s old as everything but I am proud of it because it is the


No Car Payments

No full coverage insurance


Now if I can just get the top to come UP once I put it down………   :)


Still Chugging Along

Sorry it’s been a while guys. I’m still alive! I just feel like I am working all the time. I can’t complain though when the majority of my customers are similar to this:


Today, I was off and too exhausted to do anything. I just did 3 back to back (10 hour) days. That may not seem like anything to some people but coming from me, it FELT like a lot!!! The most productive thing I did today was go through some of my life. Meaning, I through away old cards, a picture, etc that tied me too my last relationship. Being dumb, I read a lot of the letters which was hard. It’s so painful to read and remember falling in love, the excitement, the romance…..  To go from there to where him and I are today it’s really sad. But it’s over. This was my room:


I met someone recently again from my past.  I used to date him when I was very under age haha. It’s crazy how if someone was good to us though, we always remember them. I believe some people are put in our lives to be their at certain points, but maybe just not the entire way.  He’s been kind to me with allowing me to vent about my life and the craziness of it all. If for nothing else, it means a lot to have another person in my life like that.

So… the cutest thing I can share with you today is :


Why yes, yes I did. And I better receive it looking just like that :)

Hope everyone is well. Thank you for your continued support and following my journey. I’m thankful you are here.

FREE PRINT DOWNLOAD from Trendy Peas! “You are my Sunshine”

It’s been a while since I have done a free print download ! I woke up this morning to see that the lovely artist I used to work for had posted a free one.  Patchi of Trendy Peas is sharing her ” You Are My Sunshine Print” with you :) I hope you enjoy!

You Are My Sunshine Free Download


What I need is not always going to be what you understand. Maybe you won’t necessarily agree with my choices.  Most likely, you will hate my ideas. at one point or another 

But it’s not your life is it? Or your path. Or your dream. Nor destination.

So love me for being brave enough to make choices. For allowing myself to be vulnerable.

Know that I’m going to be wrong A LOT.

But that is life.

And for the first time, I’m choosing to live it.



Motivation & Comfort for the bleeding soul


Just because I needed to hear these things today.

I’m sure other people do too.

Before you read this though, just know that every good person deserves someone to say this to them at one point in their life:


If your heart is broken, know that you are not alone.

But also note, there is hope. This point in your life WILL pass.

You are right, you will never be the same.

Your beauty will be more elegant, your head much wiser, and your strength much more noticeable in time.

Live for this, if for nothing else.







Canceled Interview-Decision I Own

Hey guys,

Hope all is going well. I have the next two days off. Unfortunately, blogging has become like working out for me. In order for me to do it, I must be completely relaxed and on a “weekend.”  My schedule is pretty damn awesome at the vet I must admit.  I usually get two days off in the middle of the week (so much for having to survive 5 days to get to Saturday!!), get one weekend day off a week, and a two hour lunch break in the middle of the day. The downside is that I have to work long shifts the four days a week that I do work. Often between 9.5 and 10 hours of standing, scrubbing, and being pulled through the halls by a gigantic dog. :) I’m thankful though.

Not too long ago, I applied for a detention officer position.

detention officer

This was before the Kennel Tech position that I have now.   I have always been a bit interested in criminal justice and on a whim (and out of financial desperation) decided to apply for a position that came available online. I got a call back, did a written test for it, and just the other day got a call for an interview. Getting this position would have been a longer process, as a lie detector test amongst other things was involved.  I had only a short time to decide whether or not I was going to pursue it. Just about everyone I talked to gave me thumbs up, saying go for it.  I love working with animals but the pay is no where near what I would have gotten if I had worked for a detention center.  I asked a good friends mom what I should do. She said that it was my decision to make. That no one could choose for me.  I completely agree that sometimes we want someone to choose for us or push us in a direction because the weight of a decision feels so incredibly heavy. I asked my grandmother if she still would have gone into her major of music in college if her husband had not been there to support her. She said Yes. That she loved music. That every day when she came home from school she would play her piano when she was younger. I just realized….



Not even in desperation. If you have a full time job that you can at least SURVIVE off of, then you must breathe and realize you are okay.  I realized if I had gone for the other job I would have had plenty of toilet paper, socks, and food in the fridge.  But would I regret leaving where I am right now? Would I miss the schedule I have? Would I be sick all the time due to the 12 hour morning AND night shifts? The answer is YES.

I decided to cancel the interview.

Did I make the right decision for the rest of my life? Probably not. Did I make the right decision for where I am right now in my life? Yes. Too often I make decisions while considering my present AND my future. I panic as if the decision is going to be the last one of my entire life. Fact is, we get decisions and choices every day. And if we lack them, all we have to do is decide whether we want to go see a movie and then choose if we want someone to go with us. :)

Anyway, that is my little job update as to what is happening right now. I am about to post another blog about the lovely events of my debit card and someone going to town on it yesterday. FUN TIMES.

Anyway, hope all is well! Stay warm out there!





Skinny Taste Crock Pot Chicken Taco Chili Healthy Recipe, Education Update, and New Job

This past week a few positive things have happened.

1. I finally got a full time Kennel Tech position at a Veterinary Office in Charleston, SC.  These type of positions have seriously been non existent.  A few weeks ago I got fed up from not getting any call backs from vet offices that I just started calling around to everyone I had previously applied too. By chance, this one place was actually hiring. They were able to look up my resume and I got a call back the same day for an interview. From there I did a job shadow, they called references, and ultimately offered me the job <3.  Full time. I work 4 days a week for about 9-10 hours a day. I wake up at 5:30 AM and am incredibly thankful that this job pulled through for me.


2. I called my grandfather, who has believed in me through it all, and asked for $50 to apply to The College of Charleston. He sent me a check for $100. He is amazing. Not because he sends me money but because he believes in me. He’s spent his whole life going without things because he appreciates what he has.  It’s because of this that he has been able to help me along. I applied for the Studio Art major. The fall semester does not even start until August. Still have to do my taxes, update my FAFSA, and get my transcripts in. But first step is applying, and that was done today !


4. I made a crock recipe that turned out good last week. It was another one from the SkinnyTaste website.


Crock Pot Chicken Taco Chili

This was really good and very easy! I believe I cooked it 5 hours on high but went by all of the ingredients. I just got that boil in a bag 10 minute brown rice instead of white rice. Definitely try this out!

So that’s what is happening this week :) Hope everyone is well !

Listening To & Loving Myself

Tonight I got to talk to my granddad.  He is the sweetest, funniest, and strongest man I know. Not for his age, not because he is related to me, but because he just is all the way around as a person. I told him I was feeling extremely lost with what career I wanted to go into. He explained that “the Lord tells you as much as you can understand at one time.”  He went on to say that he did not start off knowing where he wanted his end goal to be.  His interest was in the church and that is all he knew. He said if he had known he was going to go on to be a preacher he would have never pursued his career in the church because the thought of it would have been too overwhelming. He followed what he loved, learned from people, and was led into his love for the position he held for many years as a Baptist Preacher. Before you shake your head and go “wow your life must have been tough,” just know that he never once pushed religion on me. I was raised in a Christian environment but I cannot tell you a time he quoted scripture to me. He left his job at the door and raised me with love. The older I get, the more I appreciate him for that.

This is the first semester I have taken off college in years. Normally, I go to school through the semester. I feel almost like I am going through withdrawals not having deadlines to meet.  I also know that I want to get my Bachelors Degree.

Nursing has been what I have been trying to convince myself lately I want to do. Being a nurse provides a stable career, quite a lot of money, and medical benefits. Who doesn’t want those things?

I don’t love nursing though.

I love Photography. It’s my drug. Art in general.

I am at a crossroads where I must choose whether to pursue a degree that is good for me or a degree that I will enjoy obtaining.

My grandfather who drove me to my first day of school with our golden retriever Glory in the truck, is sending me $50 so I can apply to the College of Charleston. It’s a very well known historical college here in downtown Charleston, SC.  Looking on their long list of majors…. I just came upon this major tonight:

  Bachelors of Arts in Studio Art

In this major I could study photography, drawing, sculpting, printing, etc. In order to graduate, you must make an exhibit of your own personal work to present.

In how many languages can I say : YESSSSSSS.

So this is my new goal, to go apply to the college for the Fall semester.

I have no idea what I am doing. I have no idea if I am going to be able to make money with this degree. I have no idea if Ramen Noodles are going to be a main staple of my diet shortly.

But here is what I do know: I would absolutely love taking these courses. I would love the pumping adrenaline resulting from the fight to make it. I would never look back and regret the portion of my life where I practiced what I loved most.

For the first time in my life, I’m learning to love myself. And with that comes accepting that I am withholding the talent I have been gifted with.

love yourself

Turkey Stuffed Peppers- Skinny Taste Recipe! HEALTHY

So last night, my brother asked me to come over and hang out with him for a movie night. Can I just say, I adore him. Seriously, he is like the male version of myself lol.  Anyway, we made a fire, laid out a blanket, and watched movies. At one point he came up behind me and just wrapped his arms around me.  If this all sounds romantic, please know that we are just very affectionate with each other. Last night put me in a much more positive mood!

Hence, why I am posting a recipe post and not a depression post <3

I made stuffed peppers yesterday that were so delicious and healthy. I’ve really been trying hard to lose some weight. It’s back to finding healthy recipes.


Skinny Taste Turkey Stuffed Peppers

Once done, you can add a bit of cheddar cheese to the top if desired.

I actually loved the idea of adding the 1/2 can chicken broth to the bottom of the pan for the peppers.  It made them a lot softer. In many recipes, they say just to stick the peppers in the pan resulting in very crunchy peppers.  I would highly recommend this recipe!

The only alteration I would make is use 1/2 cup of tomato sauce instead of 1/4 cup. The consistency of the meat and rice just seemed like it needed a bit more sauce. Other than that, I followed the recipe and added one more pepper (4 peppers in all).

The “ice storm” in Charleston, SC

Schools, Stores, Vet offices, etc, have been shut down.  Grocery stores have been raided of waters as well as milk & eggs (rumor has it).  People have been acting as if they were preparing for a category 4 hurricane. Meanwhile, I found myself exploring my apartment complex with my tennis shoes and camera in tow. I’m just going to let people be ridiculous and do something that is actually productive :) .


Hilariously Horrible

Today has been one of those days that was so horrible, one almost has to laugh.

#1. Go to doctors appointment to find out I have a $89 copay. Where the fuck did that come from? They run my debit and of course, I don’t have that much money in my account. So I go to call Nick to try and get him to transfer some money…


#2. Go out to car to retrieve phone. Left the damn phone at home. Get in car and speed home to try and get ahold of him before appointment.

#3. He’s at training and doesn’t even get the message for like the next 8 hours.


#4. Cancel appointment, and go to Starbucks. A guy that works there has  clearly been enjoying the attention that consists of our conversations while I drink coffee. Today, I observed him getting really uncomfortable when a customer walked in and then out with their order. Not really paying attention, he later tells me that the guy that came in is someone he is still really into. That this guy has come to his house for a date in the past and he cooked him dinner. Explaining how everything was perfect but… I kind of dazed off after those few sentences. Is this really happening? Are you seriously gay? Are you kidding me?   (nothing against gay people at all. I just really thought he was straight so it was a shock).


#5. In an effort to try to make friends that have something in common with me, I ask the guy who prints my photography if he would ever want to hang out. I feel like very few of my friends adore urban photography, as I do.  I just would like to do some things “I” enjoy. I received a very kind email back pretty much kindly declining due to being busy, having a girlfriend, and a son.


#6.  A counselor in the meantime  has been trying to return my call all day. He feels he can help me with all I am going through (if he only knew). When I finally call him back I find out that I would have to pay a copay upfront of $85 and insurance would reimburse me a lot of it.  He kindly knocked price down to $50 a session when he heard dead silence on the other end of the phone. If only he knew that this is what I spend on groceries a week……


Yeah…. I’m going to bed NOW to prevent anything else from possibly  happening.



So something about me that people either love or fear is how open I am. I share with the world how I am feeling. I’m thankful that I have had  many days where this blog has been colorful and bright.  Each post I make is a representation of what I am going through as a person.  I feel that when someone puts their heart (literally) into their blog, others can feel it.  Tonight, I watched an ABC wedding of Shawn and Catherine  (The last couple from The Bachelor). I witnessed them say their vows Live, watched as Shawn cried when he first saw his bride, and how the preacher (Shawn’s dad) welcomed his new wife to the family while expressing how in love they were with him.  My facebook status shortly after watching this wedding was something along the lines of “I don’t know whether I want to drink or die.”   Is it possible to do both? I cried through the majority of that special tonight.

For those that do not know, I am going through a “separation.” What the hell does that word even mean? It’s not like I am flying off to another country. This is not one of those deals where things may work out, issues can be worked on, or trust can be repaired. I’m being left by someone I have loved beyond what words can express. Someone whom I have stood by in the darkness of hell and the light of heaven. I feel confused, angry, and unbelievably sad. I’ve been left before but never by someone I was married too.  The last time, I numbed out the pain by crying very little. On one of the rare occasions I did cry, I curled up like a child to my brother and sobbed.  I should have done it more. I didn’t allow myself to feel enough. It was some kind of survival mechanism. This time, I refuse to run, hide, or ignore. I want to feel the cruelty of life, the betrayal of promises once made, and everything in between.

Tonight, I share the piece of myself that feels with you.

Motivation to Challenge Yourself

If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced. –Vincent Van Gogh

I absolutely love this quote above.  There are always so many doubts going through my head.  Often, I feel there is a voice saying “YOU CANNOT DO THIS.”
Instead of allowing that voice to be right, I would like to really focus on proving it wrong.

I did something for the first time a few days ago!!  I walked across the ENTIRE Cooper River Bridge and back.  My friend absolutely insisted that we must make it to a light pole a ways away from the end of the bridge to ensure that we had walked the 5 mile trek.  I felt like we should be awarded medals and receive a standing ovation by the time we got to the end. The feeling of completing the walk though was amazing. I really did something I did not think I could do.

I need to do more of this kind of thing….

Cooper River Bridge

Connecting Downtown Charleston, SC to Mount Pleasant, SC




Just because you are a women does not mean you have to reproduce. Or Breast Feed. Or any of it.

I have been struggling with trying to get myself to want to have kids for a while now.  I see women when their cute little girls and envy them. Their the ultimate picture of adorable. However, when it comes to having kids, I don’t want too at this point. I’m not really sure why either.  I am 26 years old and as of a few months ago, had a husband who wanted to have a baby.  All I would have had to do was say it.  Maybe I am selfish. The majority of my life I have struggled with being really over weight.  Some people may call the idea of not having kids due to body image ridiculous. However, I don’t care. I really just want to get my body in shape & fall in love with myself.  The idea of sacrificing my body, time, and future for a child feels  a bit like lying on a bed of nails. I salute every mom who willingly has made changes in their life so that they can raise their child.  I just don’t feel like that woman is me though.  Maybe something will change my mind in the future but if not, I need to come to terms with the idea that this is OK.  What the “majority” of people are doing is not always right for everyone. I’m finding more and more that I am the exception as opposed to the rule.

What do you “want” to do? MAKE IT STOP

I am really starting to hate the question: what do you want to do with your life?

People that ask me this question tend to think I am confused. But, I’m not. It’s called being numb. I’ve always been surviving.  When you are in survival mode, you think of a plan of action that will keep you ALIVE.  I’ve never had time to really think about or go for something I “wanted.”  Since I don’t have an answer like “I want to be a Fire Fighter” I hope the answer below will suffice.

What I want to do with my life, you ask?

I want to rewind

I want to heal

I want to feel

I want to witness

I want safety

I want to visit

I want dream

I want to laugh

I want to cry

I want faith

I want forgiveness

I want to provide

I want satisfaction

I want to be proven wrong

I want rest

I want time

I want exceptions

I want beauty

I want blood

I want art

I want to travel


If the above needs were met I may just start to see a path in my life.  A path that had a sign telling me where I was going.  When this happens, I will be more than happy to put a label on what exactly it is that I want to do with my life.




Two Brothers Who Race Together & Redefine the word Love

You know those powerful stories that just really hit you in the heart? The ones that make you evaluate the type of person you are and the sacrifices you would make for another? This story/video about two brothers is amazing. The little brother was born with Cerebral Palsy while the older brother was not.  The bond they shared and the way in which they figured out how to connect is really inspirational. I wanted to share this one with yall.


Sportskid of the Year 2012

What a woman should try when going through a DIVORCE

survivorYes, I am finally publically admitting it. My husband and I are “separating” and eventually divorcing. It breaks my heart because I love him and am not in agreement with his decision. Unfortunately, this is one of those things that just falls under the category of “to bad” legally.  I want to encourage anyone and everyone who is ever considering marriage one day to sit down and have  a discussion about the definition of FOR BETTER OR WORSE. Because people come from all walks of life, what is “worse” for one person may be a completely different definition than for the other.  You need to know what your significant others breaking point is, when they would without hesitation walk out, and what type of communication they would try and implement before they got this point.  That’s all I am saying for now. Below is a list that is somewhat comical but true facts about dealing with a divorce (from a woman’s perspective).

1.Cry like you just broke both legs

2. Drink a bottle of wine

3. Cry a lot more (similar to if your dog got run over in front of you)

4. Drink another bottle

5. Realize choices 1-4 are only momentarily helping

6. Go to starbucks, get cheapest thing on menu (toasted bagel with butter), find a lake, walk (or sit) while taking your life in

7. If you are religious, seek your religion. Find comfort in church, yoga, or other form of relaxation.

8. Look for a job but do not panic, because holding one right now is probably as unrealistic as finding  a pot of gold.

9. Resist the temptation to stomp on every romantic movie in your house while screaming “LIARS”

10. Accept the fact that you are not going to feel “ok” for a long time

11. If a friend mentions when you one day try it again…. suggest to her/him that the idea of being with another person is about as appealing as eating an entire can of anchovies while singing the national anthem.

12. Cut your hair (I cut about 6-7 inches off of mine) It felt amazing.


13.  If you have a talent (photography, writing, drawing, etc) USE it while you are going through this.  It’s so easy to shut down. But I have seen time and time again peoples art enhance during dark periods.

14. Make a list of what you are no longer going to have to put up with from your significant other. NOT a list of what you lost. We are trying to feel better here…

15. Figure out a plan. And if you can’t right now, know that is okay too.  Everyone has options but sometimes they take time to come.

16. Rest yourself. If you don’t feel like getting out of bed for 4 days then don’t. Your immune system is probably shot, your eyes probably look similar to a Blow Fish’s, and you are exhausted. That is reason enough to rest.

17. As much as you beg, plead, or try to convince your significant other to stay… ask yourself whether you REALLY want to be with a person who does not want to be with you.

18. Don’t go out and spend lots of money. Treat yourself to small things like coffee. Unless you have a very good  job, please do not go blow your every last cent. Remember, you need GAS to go find that job which will help support you in the future.

19. Try to journal. I haven’t been able to yet but I want too. One day, I want to read everything I survived.

20. Remember that divorce is similar to dealing with a death. It’s painful, miserable, and saddening. Everything hurts and all feels lost. But like healing from a lost one, I truly believe in time people can heal from a divorce. There will always be those days or triggers that cause you to curl up like a hedgehog and cry.  But then fresh air will come in from the windows that have been opened and give you hope again.

My Charleston


Fountain in front of some pretty historical houses!


I love how this yellow building and tree contrast. Charleston is also known for having beautiful & very historical  windows.


Famous Charleston, SC street with all the shops!


Charleston Pralines. You can smell this sweet goodness from several feet outside the store.


Downtown in a field called Marion Square, there were tons of Palm Trees lit up for Christmas. BEAUTIFUL.


This is one of my favs… Another shot of a lit up palm tree, Christmas tree, AND steeple.  Charleston is definitely a Holy city with MANY gorgeous churches.

Church and Balding Men

You know those moments when you have to lay out your work out clothes to inspire yourself to work out the following day?  I had the same moment yesterday when it came to church.  Not only did I lay out my clothes but I bought a new shirt at Old Navy for church. Everything was ready.  I found myself crying on the drive to church today and sitting in the car of the church parking lot.  Looking around at all the dressed up people going in and out, I had a huge temptation to screech my tires out of their parking lot, never to look back.  It felt intimidating to go in alone. It feels hard to do anything ALONE right now.  Something in me though gave me the strength to sneak in and sit at the very last row of the church.  I was seriously ready to make a mad dash if anything went wrong. What can go wrong in church?? I guess it’s just where my mind is at right now.

A very tall balding man came and plopped himself in the chair in front of me. No offense men, but if you are more than 50 percent bald, it may be time to just go for the shaved head look. Ladies do not like to look at a circle of skin on the back of your head. Anyway, I was afraid to move over for fear he would get offended I did.  Before I could get too distressed though, my friends cousin spotted me in church and asked me to join her. Thank you Lord.

Todays sermon was on the new year.  The preacher joked that so far, everyone had attended all his services this year (this was first Sunday of month).  I’ve realized a preacher who can make me laugh is key to keeping my attention. We learned today that we must assume responsibility for our lives. It is not anyone else’s fault that we are where we are right now. We are the only people that have the power to change our situation.  He explained that the three words that could change our life  are= DO IT NOW.   That we should expect God to help us though in this process.

My favorite verse today was:

Proverbs 12:22 (GNT)  Being cheerful keeps you healthy. It is a slow death to be gloomy all the time. (I guess eeyore is screwed! haha awww poor eeyore)


Ecclesiasted 11:4 If you wait for the perfect conditions, you will never get anything done.

The above things are what I needed to hear today.

I realized it takes courage to walk into church.

I used mine today <3

Books & Baggy Eyes

I feel so peaceful when I am around books. Whenever I am going through something hard, I make every effort to surround myself with books. Stories to me are old friends and amazing support systems. Tonight, I found myself contemplating cigarettes (I don’t smoke) at the gas station while I pumped gas.  Instead, I opted for a coffee and a book store. It brought me a lot of comfort in a silent calming sort of way.

Last night, I once again drank a bottle with my friend. We watched love movies and she chain smoked out the window of the house she hates living in. Her little red and gold Christmas tree is still up. As if to say, it’s going to be ok…it’s supposed to be ok…

Everything in my life right now feels hard and painful. I want to drink, smoke, cut, pierce, throw up, get tattooed, tear up a punching bag, scream, cry, and literally die. Everything hurts. Everything feels unfair.

I would go into more detail and perhaps once time has passed, it will be appropriate. But right now I can only share that I am dealing with a very painful and sad issue that involves love.

If you pray, please pray for strength for me. <3

Christmas is a Time to Drink

Last night, my friend and I watched Elf and Four Christmases while drinking red wine out of plastic cups. She had a beautiful little tree up in her apartment with red and gold ornaments. We both gave each other a gift. Hers to me was a cross stitched “I am only me when I am with you” in a flower frame. A very cool present that I know took her a lot of time. Mine to her was a small tin of hot chocolate, coffee mug, and some mini marshmallows. Together, we created, what felt like for a minute, an actual happy Christmas night.

I am so thankful to have a friend that understands the meaning of SURVIVNG CHRISTMAS

Four Christmases

She drank wine out of her cup and then straight out of the bottle, a trademark of hers :) Calling herself a “functioning alcoholic.” I sipped at my glass while laughing hysterically as Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn tried to survive their dysfunctional families during the holidays.

four christmases 2

I just got done painting my nails a shade of purple that has never been seen before at this jolly happy time of year.

Wishing there were gift certificates under the tree for tattoo and piercing shops.

Oh well, there is always next year <3



Mini Update to my Followers


Hey Guys!

Sorry it’s been slow lately!

I have been finishing up the semester which I FINALLY finished yesterday.

Social Ethic, Intro to Psychology, and Human Services COMPLETE

I can hear the chorus of Hallelujah from heaven!

STILL recovering from bronchitis. I have one of those immune systems where if I catch something, I mine as well go ahead and check into the intensive care unit!

Looks like I will be spending a few days in Palm Coast, Florida for Christmas with my husbands family. Hello Tropical Weather!

Hoping everyone is having a lovely Holiday <3

Also, below is a link to a youtube video sharing how to make Photo Coasters. I can’t wait to try this, as it looks SO easy. <3

Photo Coasters

The Pink Box- A True Untold Story

For as far back as I can remember, I’ve had a love for boxes.   Those of yall who travel most likely understand why. Boxes keep things safe, together, and ready to go at any moment.  When I was around 20 years old, I found a very large pink trunk at goodwill.  I felt led to get the box to put my most special things in.  It’s weird but I’ve had premonitions before.  For some reason, I felt that soon I would be thrown out and needing to pack this box before it happened.

When I was 21 years old, I was thrown out.

The large pink trunk was one of the things waiting for me that night on the garage floor when I came home.


I have kept it with me through several moves, a breakup, and a marriage.

Yet, until tonight, I have not been able to bring myself to open it.


It was almost like opening a time capsule.

I literally expected some bats to fly out of the box or mice to be in it.

What lay within this box was shocking. Today, what I would consider a survival box would be a toothbrush, change of clothes, important documents, and maybe a few pictures.

Instead, I found my favorite pair of rhinestone jeans & belt from Express, my plastic animal collection from childhood, celebrity tshirts, old jewelry, letters from family members, my grandmothers graduation ring, a few stuffed animals, my book of poems….


Notice the James Van Der Beek Poster and Teaching Mr. Tingle News article.


Notice the rhinestone jeans that all the animals are sitting on.  I can’t even remember when those were ever “in” but apparently at some point, they were as Express sold them!


This jewelry was made up of ying yangs, shark teeth,  and horses….. hmm interesting

I’ve finally filtered through most of the box.  I was a bit sad at how detached I was to a large majority of the items. I know before I was thrown out that I would rather starve than leave those things behind.  It just goes to show how we change as we grow up. I kept the plastic animal set for sentimental reasons and who knows…maybe my kid one day. But most of jewelry and pile of random stuff was either donated or thrown away.  The lesson I have learned tonight is that everything changes, regardless of how tightly we hold onto it. I did find one of my favorite photos of my first dog Glory. She was the best Golden retriever in the world. Hands down. I was probably like three years old below and covered in soap from bathing her .


Memories never change. I feel the same about that dog as the moments we had together, as the time I put the picture in the box, and tonight pulling it back out of the box.


“Like” my Facebook Page Please <3

Hello Friends!

I’ve made a facebook page that will contain ONLY my photography. If you enjoy my photography, please drop by and “like” my page <3

Jenny Laura Photography Facebook Page

And if you have not yet had a chance to stop by, please come check out my Etsy page:

Jenny Laura Photography Etsy Page

8×10’s going for $20

If you use the coupon code : MerryChristmas2013 you get FREE shipping.

Thank you for your continued support!


Chinese Tea Pot- Still Life Photography


Chinese Tea Party <<<—- for sale in Etsy Shop

You know, one of the great things about unpacking boxes is that you tend to find things you had forgotten about or thought you lost.  I honestly did not know where my Chinese tea set was.  And when I say Chinese, I don’t mean because it has a “made in china” stamp on it. :)  My brother, Dalton, majored in Chinese. He actually went to China and brought me back an authentic tea set.  At the time, I don’t think I really appreciated how truly beautiful the set it. Until I “refound” it! I took lots of photos of the set but this one was my favorite. The way the seller packed it is really gorgeous with this silky gold material.  I look forward to one day my child having tea parties with this set. <3

Wanted to share it with you!