It’s a nice wet morning here in Chesapeake, VA. The perfect atmosphere for writing a blog while in a relaxed state This topic is something that I’ve been thinking about the past few days.
GOALS ARE NOT MEANT TO BE ACCOMPLISHED FAST
Please take a moment to hear me out before you disagree.
I love motivation and things that motivate us as humans. Goals inspire people that they can do better and work harder to achieve just about anything they want. Nike puts out some great motivational quotes, hundreds if not thousands of books are written about motivation, and colleges literally proclaim that if you get a degree your field of choice is handed to you.
The reality is, that sometimes goals do the opposite of motivating us. Once a person makes a goal, the pressure is on. Often, a time limit is set and the feeling of failure quickly proceeds if the goal is not reached. This can lead to a person throwing up their hands and going ”This is not fair. Why can everyone else get there but I can’t?”
My friends, let me answer this for you. In my opinion, goals are NOT meant to be met fast. People that climb mountains, lost tons of weight, and achieved a high paying career had to work very hard to get there. Harder than the average person can probably even relate too. Giving yourself a short deadline to meet a goal fast is recipe for absolute disaster. I can’t tell you how many goals I have made, added a deadline, and given up on when that date came because my results were not as I had planned in my mind.
This picture below is not of me but it’s how I used to view weight loss. I would say in 6 months I will lose 40 pounds. Not only would I expect to lose that amount of weight but I would also expect results like below. Who knew, that NEVER happened!!!
So now, after many failures, I have a different outlook on goals.
THEY ARE NOT MEANT TO BE ACHIEVED FAST
Give yourself time. Keep a notebook and record your progress. If writing down negative progress feels defeating then don’t do it. As long as you stay focussed and realize that tomorrow is a new day. Sometimes, just having a notebook full of positive progress is what is needed to be inspired. Reading, last week I was 5 pounds less than I am today so F*CK I’m going to go eat a bag of chips now because I feel depressed. DOES THAT REALLY HELP ANYTHING??? I read a quote the other day that said “No matter how slow you run, you are lapping everyone on the couch.” Remember that, it’s really the truth! If you have a realistic goal and want to achieve it really bad, love yourself enough to give your body, mind, and soul time to adapt to the changes.
Now lets discuss reaching for the stars (literally).
Before deciding and implementing a plan of action to reach your goal, please take the time to go to the $1 store. You need to buy a spiral notebook and a pack of pens if they cannot be found in your house.
This $2 investment could literally save years of your life from being lost. After getting together your supplies, sit down in a QUIET area where you feel relaxed. This could mean the beach, library, man cave, other… Turn off all TV’s , iPhone’s, ipads, ipods, kindles, computers, children’s toys, etc.
WRITE DOWN YOUR GOAL
ASKING & ANSWER THE QUESTIONS:
-Why do I want to reach this goal?
-Is this goal realistic to my lifestyle?
-What will I have to sacrifice getting this goal or once I achieve it?
-Yes, I may be making a lot more money but will I be happy?
-Putting aside what everyone else is doing, why do “I” want to reach this goal?
-Do I have a good support network?
-Have I done enough research on the goal to know what must be obtained to reach it?
-Do I have the resources to reach my goal?
-Does money need to be invested to reach my goal?
-If I need a jump-start of self-confidence are there other ways of going about achieving this than setting a goal? (such as taking an art or photography class)
After filling out all of these questions you may realize that you had the wrong goal, your goal was unrealistic, or that the goal is not really what you wanted in the first place. If this happens, just make a new goal that fits what you are looking for better. I do not think it’s unrealistic to go after something you passionately love. People will do the best in careers in which they feel happy. Though these jobs may feel few and far between, remember to consider the fact that a vast majority go after positions in which they feel will be raking in the dough eventually. I’m sure many successful people feel like they literally witnessed their happiness commit suicide out of their office window.
I will end with a true story about myself and a goal that I achieved without a sense of accomplishment. It was the wrong goal but a good learning experience. I hope I have helped you reevaluate your life a little better today. I’m only RECENTLY learning about how to look at life and make different decisions. It’s taken me a lot of falls to realize what it takes to make that first step.
When I was around 21 years old I got it into my mind that I wanted to be a CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant). I felt that this career goal would lead me to feeling accomplished, successful, and richer. Granted, CNA’s don’t make that much (for anyone wondering) but it’s a good step in the right direction to becoming a Nurse. I paid for this course, purchased expensive scrubs, and made good grades. I took the final exam and I believe made in the high 90′s! I was so excited that I called my best friend back home and told her the news. I’d be lying if I said in this moment I was not happy. However, this happiness was short-lived when reality hit that I had to take the state certification. I can give you 1000 reasons why I did not pursue going in there and doing it within the next several months. The main one though was that I just did not want it bad enough. I had GOOD reasons for choosing a CNA degree as a goal. However, they were not the right ones. Money and a stable career were not enough to motivate me to become state certified. I knew that being happy was not in the equation. I had never taken time to pull out a notebook and ask myself the right questions before I went for that CNA goal. A lot of time, effort, and money would have been saved if I had taken just 30 minutes to calmly and quietly think about what I was doing.